No Pimps allowed!

I used to work at McDonalds. There was a group of 15-year-old kids that used to work from 4 PM to 7 PM every night after school about 2 years ago. I had all of them convinced that I was a professional pimp (mmm hmm, in small-town Iowa), and that was how I could afford my car, because after all, God knows you couldn't afford that car on a McDonalds salary. I also had them convinced that my car had Nitrous in it (not a common thing in Iowa), and that I competed in drag-racing events all the time. Isn't it great how this forum can turn any conversation 180° into something completely NON-related the subject matter?

I went to Dyersville, Iowa, when I was 15 with my dad and played catch at Field Of Dreams. Is that place still up? Or did Farmer Bob have to tear it up and plant corn on the darn infield? Oh, and I didn't see any pimps there. Hell, there's only like 9 people living there, I doubt if any of them are pimps, who would they pimp out? Their sisters? That's some crooked sh**!

I've also been to Dubuque and Clinton, Iowa. What are those crazy Quad-cities again? I forget... And when I was a kid, I had a football helmet for the Iowa Hawkeyes because my uncle went there in the 60's or something. I think their football team used to be pretty good, didn't they?

yeah, not a drop of photoshop...ain't it smoove?

I've only been down to Dyersville once, and that's been quite a few years. Just stopped there on the way back from Iowa City I think. As far as I know, it's still there. I don't think they'd shut it down, being it is one of the few tourist traps left in Iowa. I've only been through Dubuque once, and I've never been to Clinton. Most of the stuff you've seen and been to is on the opposite corner of the state as I am. Not a whole lot down in that area. And I myself, do not even know what the Quad-cities are. I've heard of the Quad-cities, but I can truthfully say that I don't even know what towns they are. In the town I'm in, you probably could make a decent living being a pimp. After all, we do have an all-black stripper-club. Every woman in there is black with blonde hair, and 200+ pounds. They do rent their services out already, but I'm sure I could drum up some business for them being a pimp.

And yeah, the Hawkeyes football team used to be really good, and to this day, they almost always start the first few months with a perfect or near-perfect record. But when November comes, they really start to slack off and suck. Our Hawkeyes basketball team has always been really good (we're always in the top 20 most of the year), though since I've been alive, we've never won the national championship, but we did make it to the Final Four quite a few years ago.

I've also never been to Vegas, nor Nevada at all for that matter. Never even visited the Southwest. I've been in the Northeast quite a bit, but the farthest west I've been is Yellowstone, and the farthest south I've been is Dallas.

hmmm. Vegas.
vegas, vegas, vegas.....

there are 1.5 million people here, about 875,000 are pimps. SERIOUSLY! and the other half - strippers and ho's, buddy...

Nah, It's like disneyland for adults, dude. Eye Candy everywhere. Money all over the place. Sin pretty much rules here. Bars never close, you can gamble at 7-11 and the grocery stores, you can get a drive up wedding if you want, and there are something like 20 million annual tourists running around like retarded people - every day. Fun though. Lots and lots of fun... too much fun sometimes, that's when I have to go back to visit my family in ..... WYOMING!

really though, it's just like any other SW city... I've seen lots of Arizona & New Mexico - and it looks just like vegas - except for the strip part, that is...

and dude, it could be worse, you could live in Nebraska!

Thank God I don't live in Nebraska!

Iowa is a pretty bad gambling state also. If you go to a convenience store at 2:00AM, there are about 10 people in there that just sit at the tables and scratch lottery tickets all night long. Also, we have a lot of Indian Reservations around this area, and they set can set their own gambling laws, they are not highly regulated by the state. So you only have to be 18 to gamble at Indian Reservations, but 21 to gamble if the casino does not sit on an Indian Reservation. Granted, our casino's are nowhere near as big or fancy as Las Vegas', but if you go over along the Missouri river, there are casino's and casino riverboats ALL OVER! We even have a casino in Sioux City called WinneVegas, which sits on a Winnebago Indian Reservation.