Looking for advice

Well lets see. You have some cool ideas here, but its almost as if you just randomly added things to it, and didnt have a clear idea of what you wanted in the begining. I always like to look at things first, decide what I want to start out, then draw exactly how it see it in my mind.

First off, at first glance the lips and the eyes and the hair really jump out at me. What I would do is tone down the hair and eyes just a little, or add to the glow of the eyes on the face and overall surroundings, to make it seem a little less sharp and less contained. Also, I would try to make the head look like it pops out more in the picture. Its pretty much just flat with the backround, it has no depth. Id do those things, but thats just me.