What if Microsoft built cars?

What if Microsoft built cars?

- Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

- Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

- You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car95" ir "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.

- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twise as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

- The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

- The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

- The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

- If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.



... so maybe we should be glad that they don't build cars...


Now to something completely different.
Do you have a gf/wife that's always mad at you and you can't figure out why?
The secret thing is there are secret points that we don't know about:

Simple Duties:
You make the bed ...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows ...0
You throw the bedspreads over rumpled sheets... -1
You leave the toilet seat up ... -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empy ... 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex ...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom ...-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings ...+5
In the snow ...+8
But return with beer ...-5

Social engagements

You stay by her side the entire party ...0
You stay by her side a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.. -2
Named tiffany ...-4
Tiffany is a dancer ...-6
Tiffany has implants ...-8

Her birthday

You take her out to dinner ...0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ...+1
Okey, it's a sports bar ...-2
And it's eat all you can night ...-3
it's a sports bar and it's eat all you can night and your face is painted with the colors of your favorite team ...-10

A night out

You take her to a movie ...+2
You take her to a movie she likes ...+4
You take her to a movie you hate ...+6
you take her to a movie you like ... -2
It's called DeathCop 3 ... -3
Which features cyborgs that eat humans ...-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ...-15

Your physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly ...-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it +10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ...-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too" ... -800

The big question
She asks, "Do I look fat?"

You hesitate in responding ...-10
You reply, "where?" ...-35
Any other response ...-20

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression ...0
You listen for over 30 minutes ...+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV ...+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. -200


:P

hahaha, the points ones are gold. :D

haha - I have the solution to all those points/things - anything she says or asks...you just look into her eyes with a really dumb look and say: "Honey, I love you!"
...if you practice enough you can work your way out of anything...but it has to look good

rofl..

i loved the point system .. haha .. printed it :D

(no you didn't!)

*chomps on an apple* hmmm interrrrresting...


:P

Haha... those points are awesome.

If Microsoft made cars.... Hmmmm.... simple.

I'd drive a truck.

lol... those are great... I really like the points system, and im guessing it probably holds true in most cases :p